eridun

There are things in this world stronger than wands, stronger than potions or curses and it is love that binds them, that holds their power.  It is these things that, when used properly, have the abilities that are only read about in books.  Ordinary objects until someone loves them, until someone believes in the strength of the bond that ties that item to a person or idea - but when that power is called on, it is more magical than anything you could dream in a book of wizards and fae.  It is more than a spoken word in latin or a phrase that rhymes.  It is pure magic, the magic of belief and of love, of honor and of fate.  That is what the mistake is - to think that magic does not exist is to say that belief does not exist, that faith does not exist.  Magic is love, pure and simple.  Magic is seeing beyond the visible, looking to the unseen to be your guide and to allow everything in it's time to be revealed as such.  No cards are needed, no special books bound in ancient leather, no stick finely adorned, no robes with runes at the hem.  Magic is power from within, the power of knowing you have the ability to do what it is you are called on to do and then doing it without ceremony, just doing it as you are called on. 

Yes, there are things in this world stronger than what some see and it is magic or belief or trust or faith or whatever name you wish to call it by.  It is not the stuff of legend for it lives now, in the present.  It breathes through those with the courage to look, to see and to act on it - those who call it out, grab it and make it their own.  It is within us, waiting for the moment it's needed and hoping that we have the stregnth to call it by name so that it may weave through us and aid us in all the amazing ways it can.  It is not something you learn from an old woman in the woods, or from a man with a trailing beard and wrinkles - there is no pointy hat unless you happen to own one and feel like wearing it.  Magic is real, it is alive and it is that thought that binds us all to something greater than ourselves.  Whether you choose to own it or live to it or revere it in your own way is up to you - whether you feel you can call on it or you must pray to it is your choice and it is how your particular vein of magic reveals itself but we all have it. 

The true question is will you call on it?  Or will you deny it? 

I choose to call on it. 

TO: All my LJ buddies!
RE: My 29th birthday

When: Sat, July 19th @ 2pm
Where: my place in Middletown, DE (e-mail for directions)

  A lot of emphasis is put on your 30th Birthday, lots of parties and whatnot, but I feel that the 29th birthday is often overlooked.  So, this year, I'm having a huge party for mine.  Also, I live on a farm and I have that sort of room right now.  :D

You are all invited to my 29th birthday party  for a huge bbq.  I have uber crash space as well as uber space for tents.  Oh, and my one neighbor is really, really cool (and is invited too) so we don't have to worry about him - and I only have one neighbor!  :)

rsvp, please!  If you're on my list and you know someone who isn't on my list who would want to come to a party let them know they are welcome too.  This being a bbq, bring a dish you like to share.  I'll have the meats covered and some munchies in the way of chips and whatnot.  It's also byob but we'll be taking keys if we feel you shouldn't be driving home.  ;)  

and i saw esprix had a poll up about cinnamon, so I was telling her about it and she said "I don't know if I'd put up a poll about cinnamon, maybe anise or something." 

So, here it is - the Anise poll!  (caffiene + stress + roast beef with spinach and horseraddish mayo = weirdly awake) Poll #1188961 Anise....
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 13

Anise...

sad thing?  She doesn't know who she is - and probably never will. 

 

So, read this with the tempo of slam poetry and you've got it spot on. 





There they come again
running rampant on my brain
tiny little nodes of thought
none of them the task at hand
the exhausting work that dulls my mind
total chaos in my pounding head
never what I want to see
these things, these places
all so beige and lifeless - boring!
these walls drive me to distraction
the very place that should inspire
carefully molded to be the
perfect workplace
So complete it forgot the point!
Human interaction so innane
could we ever hope to connect
in so sterile an enviroment?
And there again the little nodes!
Creating scenarios to a alive
I can taste the salty air
I can feel the rustling leaves
I can see the blinding light
I can smell the fresh cut grass
I can hear my lovers voice
Sensory overload while I sit
quiet and calm in a blank, beige office.

Friday was insane.  in addition to forgetting my grandmother's birthday (yes, throw the rotten fruit, I won't duck) I left work at noon, had a 3 hour shoot with a friend of mine (lots of good portraits!  yay!) and then flew to class where I promptly was immersed in a TON of work.  It was good, and I had a lot of fun (as usual in photo class) but it was tiring and I got home at a 11pm.  Then I baked the blueberry bread that was going with us on the roadtrip, organized my carma bag for the trip, moved my incense ingredients into their new glass bottles, packed my basket, pack my clothes, got everything organized next to the door and finally got a shower and went to bed.  At almost 1am.  

Then I woke up at 4am!    

Sunday, up at 8:30 for a breakfast bar that was dismal to put it nicely.  So instead we dressed, packed and checked out, got on the road around 10am, found an IHOP for lunch, took an 'avoid tolls' route home (through Princeton, NJ - pretty!!!!) and got home around 4pm.   I just sat and vegged, having not gotten enough sleep and driving 464 miles in one weekend - my brain was mush.  Pizza delivery for dinner and bed around midnight.  

So yeah, whirlwind weekend though 5 states.  Not bad though, really, the drive was pretty, the event was incredible and just looking at garb was worth the trip.  

Picture link soon! 

It just kicked in that I'm going on a road trip tomorrow... YAY!!!!!!!  I love road trips!  As much as I hate mornings, I love getting up early for a road trip.  Pennsic?  The first one I went to, the plan was to leave in the morning.  We ended up leaving at midnight because I was antsy.  lol   

So the great master list in the sky has started in my head and I'm writing furiously to get it out so that I have room for photo stuff when I get to class in an hour.  But yeah, sent the e-mail to roommate to not forget silverware, where her plate is, to set things out on the counter that she wants to take food wise (or post-it for cold stuff) and that I want everything ready to go in the morning so that all we do is load the car and go.  Not that I think this will actually happen, for myself I know I'll be ready because that's how I am - it's one of the few things that the ADHD hyper-focus kicks in on, the other is fine art stuff (painting, drawing, photography).  So yeah, I'll be standing at the door, stuff in the car at like 10 till leaving in the morning.  Roommate might be too, and that'd be cool, but I'm not holding my breath.  Not everyone is like me.  ;)     

yup.  love road trips. 

are made of the good.

 I would live in the USA, in a nice house sitting on some acreage outside of Philadelphia.  As for my time - I'd travel to my heart's content and work on my photography portfolio as well as visiting all the places I've seen in my dreams, meeting the people and immersing myself in the culture. 

Let me tell you a story...

A few years ago, in a college town, there was a small lounge down the back alley of a shopping center.  In this hole in the wall place was a sacred place of creation adorned with scarves and rugs and incense.   Live music was created here, and poets rambled on in lengthy verse.  I was one of these poets. 

My poems were odd, some rhymed and some didn't, some were fast paced lines of one letter sounds, strung together in automotive ways.  (it makes sense, trust me)  Through my reading all of these random poems I developed a nickname without even realizing it - I heard it one night as the announcer whispered it across the sound system while announcing me...

"erika, the erotic poet"

It was news to me but i went with it and had one of my best readings ever.  It was full of life and vigor, people clapped and many lighters went up.  And so I was reborn, the erotic poet. 


----

Over the years I have moved away from this, the small lounge closed and nothing like it has been seen again.  I haven't stopped writing and in fact have expanded into short stories too.  I never posted any of them and haven't really shown them to anyone in years.  However, the muse is tugging at my dress again and I feel the need to embrace her.   The words are coming easily again... more so than they have since I last closed my poetry journal.  In looking feverishly for that book I discovered a few other journals of poetry and prose that I forgot I had - sources of fresh inspiration. 

So it begins again - and while I don't have the ability to post my voice, I can pose my words - and hopefully the meaning will transfer on as well. 


I'll be posting as I transcribe them, and as I find my long hidden files off my external drive I'll put some of those up too. 

I hope you all enjoy them.  yes, these will be public and no, they won't be lewd.  My poetry isn't explicit, it's suggestive.  I want people to find these and enjoy them or not enjoy them... but i want them to be open to everyone, they way they were back in the smoky lounge in Newark, where people sang and danced and blessed the goddess in everyone and everything. 

 

I got to talk to E last night.  He was calling from a payphone, still couldn't get the cell to work, but he was ok and we talked for a few minutes.   He called again a little later, right before he thought I was going to bed (even though I was still over doing laundry) but it was sweet and I feel much, much better.  He'll be arriving at his friend's house in Tulsa this morning - I have a phone number to reach the friend now too.  And tomorrow morning he'll be leaving to get to my Mom's place.  It's about 6 hours from Tulsa to St. Louis so it won't be too bad a day for him and we'll have a nice dinner when he gets there.  My mom and grandparents are so excited to see him again - I am so thankful for that.  

In other news... after paying closer attention to our HR lady, I've found that she really doesn't care to socalize with people she doesn't already know.  Perhaps it's that I'm in the interview process right now and she doesn't want to get "buddy-buddy" with someone she might have to tell they're not interested in - I can respect that.  But honestly, even before all this, she wasn't the most talkative person and certainly not the most outgoing I've evern met.  She's nice, don't get me wrong - I'd really love to talk with her more as she seems really interesting person - I just think that she could be a little more open.  Maybe it's just that I'm such an outgoing person myself... oh well.  Chai's done - bring on the caffiene!


ps- I'm still running like a mad woman to get everything done... my flight leaves at 6am tomorrow, less than 24 hours from now.   My sister shows up to take me to the airport at 4am... something tells me I'm not sleeping tonight.

oh, but I do.  

I sat next to a girl today who had no idea who Dali was, or even who Gorey was.  She hadn't ever heard of surrealism and didn't know the definition of a non-represntational artist.  She just knew that she liked anime and wanted to draw like that and didn't want to, like, draw anything, like - realistic?  you know?  cause realistic is boring and, like, stupid? ya know?  And she knew that the art history text book was like, too closed mined and stuff and like was trying to force her to draw a way she didn't want to and was like, stomping on her like freedom or something.  

She wants to master in art and design websites for a living.
She doesn't understand why a professional print house would scream copyright infringement if she did a picture of herself looking like a character from a popular anime that's currently on tv.  

She's 19 and has no idea what simple art terms are.  She doesn't want to be bothered with learning what artists did in the past because "it's boring and old and anime is new and exciting and it's like, better because it's weird and that's how i want to draw, ya know, like, weird and stuff."  

I know, for a fact, that as flighty as I ever was (and still am) I was never so naive that I couldn't look at the style I wanted to draw in and recognize at least one aspect of an earlier style represented there.  She was honestly convinced that manga style artwork developed completely on it's own and had nothing to do with any earlier art ever.  Seriously, I was so close to pulling a clockwork orange video scene it wasn't even funny.  

Other than that class was really good and I aced both the quizzes today.  Yay!  I have a good start on my project due in 2 weeks and I've already picked a topic for my term paper.  I feel good about this class and that is a huge relief right now.

BASE jump.  
 

easy - a freelance photographer.

It's 3:28pm on a day that really shouldn't have any more of a representation on tv than D-Day, the anniversary of Pearl Harbor, Memorial Day or Labor day does.  No one holds elaborate memorials on Peral Harbor day, do they?  Does that cheapen the deaths there?  No.  No one crowds the newswaves with stories, rememberances and the like on D-Day, do they?  But we still, privately, honor those who died.  So 6 years later, on a day where lots of people died, elaborate memorial ceremonies are held, news waves stop and all have reference to the goings on of the day, people loudly mourn in public and public addresses are held in schools and businesses across the nation.  

Does this happen on the anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing?  
Or on the anniversary of any of the school shootings?  

no.  

I don't cheapen the loss people endured this day 6 years ago.  I don't see the point in reliving it though, replaying the tapes, reading the list of the dead.  We know what happened.  We lament what happened.  It's been the topic of disucssion and debate, rhetoric and rant.  

What I'd rather see today?  The momuments completed.  Life in those areas returned to normal.  The memories of the dead honored instead of paraded for political and finanical gain.  In 6 years this country hasn't gotten it together enough to clean up and finish the construction on the memorial towers in NYC.  In 6 years the memorials in PA and in DC haven't been completed.  In 6 years we're still being lied to about wars and agendas.  And in 6 years we haven't found the people responsible and punished them.  

So yes - I remember what today is.  It's a Tuesday, it's raining and somewhere, someone is really, truly mourning the way the victims families should - in a cemetary, with friends.  Not in front of the camera. 

OK - here are a list of things you shouldn't do before chai/caffiene of your choice:

1-look for a lost necklace.  You won't find it and it'll upset you and you won't think of anything else all day.
I lost my silver circle pendant.  not good - i usually never go anywhere without it.  i decided to wear another necklace yesterday, an ocean stone that I wrapped two days ago, and now I can't find the pendant.  much suck. 
2- try and pump gas.  (again, not pretty - I dropped the cap twice...)

I'm here now, so chai will happen though I need to go to the grocery to get more.  I should buy this stuff in bulk seeing how fast I go through it.